Wake up MOM!

(Joshua whispering) um...mom...wake up, Mom...Wake Up...LOUD WHISPER...MOM, Are you awake??

Me: I am now...what is it?


Josh: Um, remember how this is the last day of school for the week, um, my teacher told me yesterday that I had to turn in my Indian project...you know, the one that was due yesterday...my teacher said I HAD to turn it in today or I wouldn't get any points so I need to turn it in today... okay?(speaking as if it's totally done and just needs to be put in his backpack)


Me: UH...Joshua...WHAT INDIAN PROJECT???? What are you talking about? Do you HAVE it done? Have you been working on it? I'm totally lost!


Josh: REMEMBER?? That yellow paper that said we had to do an indian project and that it was due on the 21st? REMEMBER??


Me: dumfounded stare....


Josh: Er...so I thought maybe we could work on it before school and we can get it all done and then I'll turn it in and it will be okay because then my teacher will give me the points.


Me: Joshua...it is 7:30 in the morning. Your bus comes in a 1/2 hour, how ON EARTH are we going to create an indian project by 8 o'clock?


Josh: We could just work on it really quick, I'll run and get dressed and you can get out the stuff and we'll be really fast! (my eternal optimist)


AARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!! NOT the best way to wake up I tell you! BUT, AMAZINGLY ENOUGH....we DID get it done and it looked pretty cute I must say, Joshua had some great ideas and loves every kind of craft so it was right up his alley and he had a ball!


This was just the BEGINNING of my horrible no good day on Wednesday...(if you don't like really REALLY long and wordy drawn out stories of a rotten day then please stop reading now and try again tomorrow when the tone might be a teensy bit happier)


Still here? Okay...here goes:

I took the boys to school (they missed the bus on account of the indian project) and got home and thought to myself, WOW - a WHOLE day home, I can get everything in order and make sure I'm ready for tomorrow. YAY ME! Then I remember to call the toy store because while I was there yesterday looking for a very popular item that my 8 year old wants for Christmas I was told they were out of stock and to call every morning because they get new shipments in every night. So I call and WOW, they have 26 in stock but hurry up because they go really fast. Okay, so I'll run to the toy store, pick up the toy, come back and still have the rest of my day to clean up and get ready for tomorrow. THEN I remember that Sam has early day because it is the last day of school for the week and I don't have time to make it there and back SO I wait...which ends up being fine because by the time I get myself, Gabe and Will ready it is almost time for Sam to come home. He gets home and I call the store AGAIN just to make sure I'm not too late - nope, not too late, still tons left so we head out (after SLAMMING my two middle fingers in the door of the car...YEEEOOUUCCHH) We make it to the toy store and I happily walk up to customer service and ask them nicely where I would find said toy..."um, we don't have any of those in stock" is what I am told. Wait a minute! I called literally 15 MINUTES AGO and was told you had 26! "Oh, yeah that...SORRY about that, but that number you called is actually our call center and they have access to our store inventory and also what the inventory on our trucks are so they must be on one of the trucks that has been delayed. We should have the truck by Friday - Sorry!" So I say "but the lady I talked to on the phone SAID "Thank you for calling the Murray Toys R US, how can I help you?"..." to which the cust. serv. girl replies "oh yeah, they do that, they'll even say things like "let me check the floor for you" but they CAN'T check the floor because they are in a completely different state!" Oh...isn't that nifty. So I say "Okay, well can you call another store for me?" and she says she will and we head to the phones. After waiting for AT LEAST 1/2 hour for her to call two stores she says "okay, the store in Sugar House says they have ONE left, I've asked her to hold it for you but she can't because we can't hold anything for people until after Christmas so I asked her to hide it and she said she will and her name is....oh shoot, I didn't get her name, but she hid it for you. " ....I am just kind of staring at her right now, not saying anything yet because I'm trying to figure out how to nicely say "HOW ON EARTH AM I SUPPOSED TO GO AND FIND SOMETHING THAT IS HIDDEN IN A TOY STORE WITHOUT THE SLIGHTEST IDEA WHO HID IT???" before I can think of a polite way to put this she says "I should probably call her back and get her name so you know who to ask for, huh!" UH.....YOU THINK????? ARGH! So she quickly calls back and tells me I need to ask for Sandy. Ok. Sandy....got it, and we head out. About 1/2 way there I think to myself, I better call her and make sure she will be there when I get there, I can just imagine her going to lunch and me asking for Sandy and being told she'll be back in an hour. SO, I get the bright idea to call and make sure she knows I am almost there. I call 411 to get the number and call the store. "Thank you for calling SugarHouse Toys R Us, how can I help you?" Um...are you ACTUALLY the store or just a call center? "Er...we are a call center ma'am but I can assist you with anything you need!" Okay, can you get Sandy for me? She works in the store. "Ma'am, this is the call center, you'll have to call the store directly" Okay, you see..that is what I TRIED to do, I don't have the SECRET number for the ACTUAL STORE, can you give it to me or transfer me to the STORE? "yes, ma'am...hold please." .....Then I hear the SAME greeting again but this time it actually IS the store so I ask for Sandy. Sandy gets on the phone and I tell her I'm in the parking lot (this is how long it took to reach her) now and do I just ask for her to help me find the toy. She assures me that she has it and to find her in Customer Service. I unload the 3 boys and we head in. There are a few people in line in front of me so I patiently wait. Finally it is my turn and I get up to the counter where Sandy greets me by saying "um...let me guess, you are the person I just talked to on the phone?" Me (still happy at this point) "Yep, that's me!" Sandy: "I am SOOOOO SORRY, but as soon as I got off the phone with you, I turned my back to help a customer and my boss SOLD IT right from under my nose, I swear I had it here for you less than ONE MINUTE ago!!" Me.."Okay, what should I do from here....can I get a raincheck for it?" (I forgot to mention that today is the LAST day this toy is on sale...for TWENTY DOLLARS OFF I might add!) Sandy: "Well, if it says quantities are limited we can't do a raincheck but lets see if it says that in the book" We look, and it does NOT say quantities are limited so she says: "Oh, good, this should be okay, let me just check with my manager" and off she goes. She comes back and says "my manager won't let me do it, he says that we can't do a raincheck on anything that is in the toy book...I'm really sorry!" me: "Okay, do you think I could speak to him?" Sandy: "yes, if you think that would help, he's in the baby section." SO off we (the boys and I) go. We find him and I go up to him and politely say "I'm sorry, but Sandy just came and asked you if I could get a raincheck for a sale item and you said no and I just wanted to explain to you that I have been dealing with this ALL morning long and have been told conflicting things from two of your stores AND came ALL THE WAY out here because I was promised that I would find the LAST one only to find that it has been sold a mere seconds before my arrival. I have a suspicion that the reason all your computers are showing you have this item in stock but you actually don't is because the sale ends today and you are purposely not putting them out until Friday when you can sell them at full price (admittedly, not the best thing to say to the guy but I REALLY DID think that is what they were doing!) All I'm asking for is a raincheck so that I can come this weekend when I KNOW you will have them available and get them at the sale price - why isn't that possible?" The Manager tells me that he is sorry but he just can't give me a raincheck for anything in the toy book for the sale that ends today and then totally looks away from me and continues to stock a shelf. - UH, HELLO! ARGH! - So I say "so, what are my options...is there ANYTHING I can do?" Manager: "No, I don't think so, I'm really sorry" so I start to walk away and with every step I'm getting angrier so I turn back around with tears brimming in my eyes (yes, this is a toy I'm talking about...I'm actually almost CRYING about a STUPID TOY - I should have known at this point to just give up on my day and go home and crawl back into my bed...) Anyway, with tears welling up I look at the guy and say "you know what...I really DON'T THINK you ARE sorry, I mean WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL about just writing a raincheck for something that doesn't say limited stock and that I can come back and get in ONE DAY?" ....to which the Manager replies..."Ma'am, I'm just afraid that I'll write you a raincheck and you won't be able to get the item" (oh YEAH RIGHT) so I say "I don't think that is possible when ALL of your stores say they have 25 in stock RIGHT NOW, which means that there are trucks CARRYING this item that will arrive probably tonight if they aren't in the back already and besides, what is the harm in just writing a raincheck just IN CASE?! I mean, if I don't get one I don't get one but at least if I see one I can have the chance to actually get it at the sale price and I JUST DON'T SEE why as a MANAGER you can't make the executive decision to do that for me!" (looking back, I think that was the phrase that finally got him, I think it made him feel very important - like he really could make executive decisions or something...DUH!) ANYWAY, with a HUGE SIGH (seriously, like he was about to sign over his first born child to me), he looks at me and says "okay, let's do it" ... AAARRRGGHH!! BUT, PHEW! IT'S ABOUT TIME!!! SO, he takes me back to Sandy who is very happy for me and glad (and a little surprised it seems) that I got through to him and writes out the raincheck and we are able to FINALLY leave with BARELY enough time to get home before Joshua gets off the bus. Thankfully about 1/2 way home my friend Tricia calls to ask if it is okay if she gives Joshua a ride home because she is there to pick up Cydney and Joshua wants to go with them. I explain that I'm not home yet, but is it okay if I pick him up from your house? Absolutely! she says and we decide to let them play for awhile which gives me time to run to the store to pick up a prescription and a few other items. We get to the store and the pharmacy is closed for another 15 minutes (just keeping with the same lucky theme!) so I go to get my items only to find that they are COMPLETELY out of frozen strawberries. I get everything else on my list and go back to the pharmacy. They don't have it ready, they don't even have record that it has been called in but it is "probably on the managers messages and he's trying really hard to get them all cleared off so if you'd like to finish your shopping and come back..." Well, the manager doesn't look NEAR ready to finish clearing messages and I am ALREADY finished with my shopping so I bag it...it's just vitamins anyway, I can get those later - so we FINALLY head home. I'm in charge of the Turkey for Thanksgiving and I've been anxious to try a new recipe from a friend in my ward that raves about how tender and juicy the Turkey turns out so I stop by her home for a copy of the recipe and the roasting bag she is donating to me (since I didn't know I needed one). I get home and start preparing things and realize I don't have ANY Chicken stock and the recipe calls for at least two cans. I can tell at this point that loading my kids back into the car to go BACK to the store is JUST NOT an option because I'm quite certain they'd hang me by my eyebrows just for mentioning the idea so I call my friend again to ask her if BY CHANCE she happens to have any leftover that I could borrow until Friday. She does and ACTUALLY BRINGS IT TO MY HOUSE! (Okay, so there WERE bright parts of the day) THANK YOU THANK YOU! So, I get my Turkey in the bag, and put it in my biggest casserole dish because I also forgot a roasting pan and figured it would be fine in this. My baby has been asleep since we got home allowing me to get the Turkey in AND the bulk of the house cleaned up (another bright spot) and I'm feeling pretty positive at this point that things are looking up. Right as I am thinking this I begin to hear a hissing sound...getting louder and louder...I creep to the oven and look inside to find the juices are spilling over the top of the casserole dish onto the bottom of the oven and into the gas flames below (because putting something underneath the dish to catch the drippings would have been MUCH TOO EASY!) So I RUN downstairs to Mark (who is studying) and tell him to hurry up and come upstairs and tell me what I should do because now smoke is beginning to come out. Mark comes to my rescue and we get back to the oven, he opens it and quickly closes it again and says "MEL! That is SO DANGEROUS, this could start a grease fire!" and WHHOOOOSH! He was right, all of a sudden there was an actual FIRE IN MY OVEN!!! AAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKK! I quickly turn off the gas, which puts out the fire and Mark and I just kind of stare at the stove while the kitchen quickly fills with gray smoke. We check on the Turkey and suprisingly it looks just fine so we decide to move it to the downstairs oven and put the one upstairs on self clean to get rid of all the mess. Um. BAD IDEA. REALLY REALLY BAD IDEA! About 20 minutes later the 3 boys run frantically down the stairs (where I'm talking to Mark a minute before returning upstairs) to tell us that the whole house is filling up with smoke so we all RUN back up to find the ENTIRE UPSTAIRS in a thick thick fog of gray smoke and a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE SMELL! ARGH!! So we go to the oven and it appears that the worst is over because there is no longer any smoke near the oven itself so we decide to leave it on self clean and open all the doors and windows to air the house out. It takes about 1 minute for the heat to air out with the smoke and soon our house is FREEZING! Our thermometer said it was 46 degrees INSIDE by the time we were finally able to close the doors and turn up the heat again. PHEW! SO, after that fun adventure I move on to make the Strawberry Pretzel Salad that I have been craving for MONTHS and have been SO excited for this excuse to finally make it. I start by making the crust, but wait...it needs to bake and BOTH of my ovens are unavailable so I have to wait until the Turkey is done (thankfully only about 30 minutes) to bake the crust. I finally get it baked and cooling (oh, and I decide to PICK UP the burning dish with my fingers to move it from the stove to the table, thus burning two fingers on my right hand so now I've crushed two fingers on my left hand and burned two on the other hand) and start working on the first layer only to find that I am short a container of cool whip. I thought it only called for one, but alas, it calls for two (I'm not surprised at all, at this point I have accepted my lot for the day and am just rolling with it) so I call down to Mark to let him know I'll be back and I'm running to the store. THANKFULLY, I am able to make it to the store and back, finish the dish, wake up my baby to eat (who has STILL been sleeping this ENTIRE TIME) and make it to bed by 11pm (which is a pretty reasonable hour for me) with no further catastrophe's. HALLELUIJAH! SO MUCH FOR MY EASY GOING, JUST STAY HOME and casually get things ready for the big day DAY. WHEW!!! Oh well, some days are just like this I suppose. I will post about Thanksgiving later because it was really fun but my fingers are about to fall off and I'm sure (if you've stuck with me) that you're about to fall asleep from boredom so I'm going to end this post finally. HOORAY!