Friday, May 30, 2008

Time to CHILL!

This morning I discovered a little something about my parental skills as of late. It is DEFINITELY time to CHILL. The following event is what led to this eye-opening discovery:

On Tuesday Sam went to school decked out in his cute little brown GAP zip-up hoodie since the morning was going to be chilly and the afternoon was going to be warmer. (see, I watch the weather! Maybe I'm not doing such a bad job afterall - ahh, if only it were that simple!) He got home and we chatted and went on with our day. Fast forward to Wednesday when the same scenario was about to unfold with the hoodie chilly/warmer day and to our surprise, the hoodie was nowhere to be found. Sam wasn't quite sure if he brought it home and I didn't remember seeing it on him after school. I sent him to school in a different jacket and made him promise to look for his hoodie and to ask the bus driver if he'd seen it. He got home on Wednesday with no jacket. When I asked him if he looked for it he said "oops, I forgot". Grrr. I got a little more agitated and expressed the need to FIND IT TOMORROW! The next morning I reiterated my previous request. PLEASE look for your jacket today Sam, we NEED to get it back. Sam asks "what if I don't find it?" to which I say, "I don't know, but you NEED to find it or you'll be in big trouble!" (let me interrupt here just to point out that I say this phrase a LOT...but mostly out of jest in a teasing-ish voice and truly didn't think my kids ever took me seriously - especially Gabe who almost daily says MOM! Det me some Milk or zyou doh-een to be in BIG TWUBBLE!) SO, we said a quick prayer, I kissed them on their head and they were off to the bus. When Sam got home I quickly noticed there was still NO JACKET. I said "no jacket, huh?" but I actually said it really nicely because by now I had figured it was time to just say good-bye to the hoodie. He looks at me with his huge eyes and his lips were literally trembling as he explained that he looked for it ALL DAY. He asked his teacher and the bus driver AND his friends and that one of his friends had seen it but he didn't remember when. I looked at Sam and said "Sam, guess what - I'm NOT mad at you, it's OKAY". To which he just completely fell apart. Tears were streaming down his face and as I embraced him I thought the following: Note to self: This is SAM, this is NOT JOSHUA, this is your child that takes EVERYTHING literally and THIS is your sensitive one. OH THE GUILT! I'm pretty sure I felt my heart break in half. I quickly explained that I understood that he did his best to find it and that is all I ever wanted. My words from the morning came crashing down on me like a brick wall. I told him he'd be in big trouble. Did I REALLY say that to him?! I really didn't mean it!! GRRRRRRRR. I told him that we would go together later in the afternoon and look for it and how proud I was of him for remembering to look. So, for the rest of the day yesterday I stewed over the fact that my poor 6 year old was at school all day worrying about a stupid piece of cloth and probably afraid to walk in the door of his own house. How could I do that to him?!!!! Am I really teaching my children what is important in life when I'm so worried about a $15 article of clothing that my child is afraid to come home?! Um yeah. Time for a MAJOR reality check. I HATE mommy guilt. UGH.

And wouldn't you know it, we FOUND it in the HOUSE about an hour later. We were both so excited and laughed and hugged and bigger hugged. Then later I took the boys to the Mall because Webkinz are buy one get one free. Yep. That is why. They are buy one get one free. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am a crappy mother NOTHING at all. Nope. Buy one get one free I tell you. BUY 1 GET 1 FREE!! We are now the proud owners of two new family members: Roary the tiger -josh, and Andy Clarin Cain the Leopard - Sam (the names of his pets just KILL me! He also has "Dexter the diving dolphin" and his frog is named "Decky." This morning after thinking about it all night I'm sure, he announced that his leopard was now not just "Andy" but Andy Clarin Cain! How cute is that?!)

So yeah, please take a lesson from me today and if nothing else take a second to CHILL and hug your kids. Lucky for us, I think they can sense we're doing the best we can and REALLY LUCKY for us, they are SO forgiving. I'm SO thankful for that. Sigh.


Tiburon said...

Hey, at least you learned something from it. I am mean to my kids all the time and never change ;)

Oh, and were are BOGO Webkinz?!?! I need to stock up!!!

Cindy said...

You are a great mom Mel! I think we all do things like that at times. None of us is perfect. And kids are so different. I'm still trying to figure that out that I have to parent Abby & Soda in different ways because their personalities are so different. What wouldn't bother one kid is a huge thing for another.

Oh, and we would love to know the deal with the BOGO webkinz too. My kids love those things!

Trish in Texas said...

Oh, honey! I'm so sorry! I've been there with the super-duper-sensitive kid who really thinks they might actually GET their butt kicked when they get home without their jacket. Oh, the guilt of motherhood! You are sweet to notice it right in that moment and to try to make it better. And seriously, I would have done the same thing with the Webkinz. It does seem to help!

SM said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. You're a great mom with home full of love! Lucky duckies, all of you!

Anonymous said...

Wishing you and yours well. I hope Annemarie pulls through - prayers and heart goes out to her.