Doing better!

So sorry for the lack of updates as of late. Shar, David and I got home on Sunday night late and I've been playing catch-up the rest of this week! We had a WONDERFUL time in Phoenix which was a pleasant surprise as I wasn't looking forward to going at all. I didn't want to face seeing my mom in the hospital but I also NEEDED to go and see her in the hospital. I hated knowing she was stuck there while I was here, but the thought of going with my sister under those circumstances was so disheartening. I found myself wishing over and over that we were going to meet our mom for a fun girls' outing and not to see our sick mom in the hospital. We were trying to prepare ourselves for the worst and when we got there we were so pleasantly surprised. She was asleep when we walked in and Charlotte touched her foot and she opened her eyes, gave a huge smile and motioned with her hands for us to come hug her. So so sweet. She seemed so truly happy to see us and we were so truly happy to see her. She chatted with us all day and seemed a little relieved when we left for dinner that night so that she could sleep. We were on cloud 9!! Our mom was OKAY!! Then David, Mandy and Mike arrived on Friday morning and we went to see her and visited all day again. If she was relieved on Thursday to see us go I think a proper word would be ELATED to see us go on Friday night - she totally kicked us out (in a really nice, sweet way) I think we were wearing her out! :) As siblings we went to Chili's and to see Indiana Jones. It was so fun! We all came back on Saturday and watched as she seemed to get stronger and stronger with each day we were there. Saturday night we went to dinner at Lonestar Steakhouse with a bunch of the Arizona family...I want to say ALL the Arizona family but I don't want to leave anyone out! It was SO SO great to see everyone! Sunday was bittersweet as it was our last day AND we found out that she was getting surgery for her defibrillator on Monday which made us wish so badly that we could stay for that. It was SO hard to say good-bye. SO HARD. My heart felt heavy the whole rest of the night and I missed her the second I left the room. I'm so thankful that she is okay and that she is getting the proper care now so she can stick around for a LOT longer. I realized that I don't think I would function well at ALL without her. I just need her in my life simple as that and selfish as it sounds. I AM the baby after all, can't I be a little selfish - doesn't that come with the "baby of the family" territory? I told her that she was not allowed to pull a stunt like that EVER again. I hope she listened. :) What I didn't expect was how much of a good time I'd have with my siblings. Wow they are awesome people. I'm so lucky to have them in my life. We all bonded in a way that I will cherish forever. I have the coolest brothers and the best sister in the world. So so blessed! We took some great pictures. For all my family members out there: How many people you can name in the Lonestar Steakhouse pictures? :)

we took the picture above and both Shar and I said "MORGAN! You have to SMILE!" and he said "I DID!!" so then we took the picture below and he smiled bigger. :)

We had Mike, Charlotte, Mikele, Trent (Mikele's boyfriend), Corbin, Kyle, Kole, Morgan, Melanie, Jaron, Paige, Carma, Lamont, Chantel, Me, Shar, David, Mandy, Nathan, Teri (Nathan's girlfriend) and Malena!! SO SO FUN!!

My mom had the surgery done on Monday and it went well but was very painful. She is HOME NOW YAY! She went to the Dr. yesterday morning and threw up again so we are all still a little worried as to why. We really thought and hoped that her stomach issues had something to do with her heart and that they would go away when her heart was healthy again. We are still hoping that this was just an isolated incident and that she will continue to improve every day.

Shar thought a good caption for the picture above would be "my future's so bright I gotta wear shades!" I agree! The boys were supposed to do something silly but ended up just looking down at us. Party POOPERS!

Time to CHILL!

This morning I discovered a little something about my parental skills as of late. It is DEFINITELY time to CHILL. The following event is what led to this eye-opening discovery:

On Tuesday Sam went to school decked out in his cute little brown GAP zip-up hoodie since the morning was going to be chilly and the afternoon was going to be warmer. (see, I watch the weather! Maybe I'm not doing such a bad job afterall - ahh, if only it were that simple!) He got home and we chatted and went on with our day. Fast forward to Wednesday when the same scenario was about to unfold with the hoodie chilly/warmer day and to our surprise, the hoodie was nowhere to be found. Sam wasn't quite sure if he brought it home and I didn't remember seeing it on him after school. I sent him to school in a different jacket and made him promise to look for his hoodie and to ask the bus driver if he'd seen it. He got home on Wednesday with no jacket. When I asked him if he looked for it he said "oops, I forgot". Grrr. I got a little more agitated and expressed the need to FIND IT TOMORROW! The next morning I reiterated my previous request. PLEASE look for your jacket today Sam, we NEED to get it back. Sam asks "what if I don't find it?" to which I say, "I don't know, but you NEED to find it or you'll be in big trouble!" (let me interrupt here just to point out that I say this phrase a LOT...but mostly out of jest in a teasing-ish voice and truly didn't think my kids ever took me seriously - especially Gabe who almost daily says MOM! Det me some Milk or zyou doh-een to be in BIG TWUBBLE!) SO, we said a quick prayer, I kissed them on their head and they were off to the bus. When Sam got home I quickly noticed there was still NO JACKET. I said "no jacket, huh?" but I actually said it really nicely because by now I had figured it was time to just say good-bye to the hoodie. He looks at me with his huge eyes and his lips were literally trembling as he explained that he looked for it ALL DAY. He asked his teacher and the bus driver AND his friends and that one of his friends had seen it but he didn't remember when. I looked at Sam and said "Sam, guess what - I'm NOT mad at you, it's OKAY". To which he just completely fell apart. Tears were streaming down his face and as I embraced him I thought the following: Note to self: This is SAM, this is NOT JOSHUA, this is your child that takes EVERYTHING literally and THIS is your sensitive one. OH THE GUILT! I'm pretty sure I felt my heart break in half. I quickly explained that I understood that he did his best to find it and that is all I ever wanted. My words from the morning came crashing down on me like a brick wall. I told him he'd be in big trouble. Did I REALLY say that to him?! I really didn't mean it!! GRRRRRRRR. I told him that we would go together later in the afternoon and look for it and how proud I was of him for remembering to look. So, for the rest of the day yesterday I stewed over the fact that my poor 6 year old was at school all day worrying about a stupid piece of cloth and probably afraid to walk in the door of his own house. How could I do that to him?!!!! Am I really teaching my children what is important in life when I'm so worried about a $15 article of clothing that my child is afraid to come home?! Um yeah. Time for a MAJOR reality check. I HATE mommy guilt. UGH.

And wouldn't you know it, we FOUND it in the HOUSE about an hour later. We were both so excited and laughed and hugged and bigger hugged. Then later I took the boys to the Mall because Webkinz are buy one get one free. Yep. That is why. They are buy one get one free. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am a crappy mother NOTHING at all. Nope. Buy one get one free I tell you. BUY 1 GET 1 FREE!! We are now the proud owners of two new family members: Roary the tiger -josh, and Andy Clarin Cain the Leopard - Sam (the names of his pets just KILL me! He also has "Dexter the diving dolphin" and his frog is named "Decky." This morning after thinking about it all night I'm sure, he announced that his leopard was now not just "Andy" but Andy Clarin Cain! How cute is that?!)

So yeah, please take a lesson from me today and if nothing else take a second to CHILL and hug your kids. Lucky for us, I think they can sense we're doing the best we can and REALLY LUCKY for us, they are SO forgiving. I'm SO thankful for that. Sigh.

Update:

If you were quick and read this soon after I posted it, it has been updated twice. Just FYI. :)

I think my Aunt Judy said it best in one of her last e-mails so I'll just copy and paste. I hope she doesn't mind.

AnnaMarie is not doing well. Could not do angiogram this morning because her kidneys and liver were shutting down. The doctor at that point figured they were looking at open heart surgery once they could get her other systems functioning, which he predicted would take a few days at least. A few hours later they had succeeded at getting a good-enough look at her heart to see that there were no blockages, so that’s good news; the troublesome part of that is that there is now no explanation as to why it is not functioning sufficient to keep the other organs working. Arlene and Marian are still at the hospital and Charlotte and Mike will be there in a few minutes. Anna’s other kids will head down tomorrow. Vickie is on her way this afternoon (from Vegas), and Dan is making plans for Friday. The rest of us in Utah are in standby mode. Keep praying. Love, Judy

I just wanted to say thank you to our family and friends who have sent their kind words and prayers our way. I am so thankful for the Priesthood and the opportunity that my mom had to receive a blessing yesterday. Thankful to my Aunt who has made it possible for my brother and sister to fly there as soon as we can. Thankful to my Aunt who put her name down in the Temple and called to see if I needed anything only to realize I just needed someone to cry with for a minute. To ALL of my Aunts who have been there with my mom and helped in all the calling/updating/crying that has been going on since yesterday. So thankful to Charlotte who has made me feel the closest to being there with my mom as possible with her updates and love. So thankful to my cousin (Michele-you NEED a blog!) for calling just to see how I was holding up. Thankful for another cousin who has offered her home for any of us to stay in should we need more room. So so so thankful to all of you for loving my mom so much and for just being there. We are so blessed with such an incredible family. We at home are doing okay. Shar and I are flying out in the morning and I think David is coming on Friday. I have tried to keep my mind off of things by cleaning and organizing everything in sight. I'm now the proud owner of the cleanest refrigerator this side of the Mississippi. Cupboards, closets, junk drawers too. Spotless. Lucky for me, I don't think I could ever run out of things that need cleaning around here. Hmmm is that really lucky afterall?! I have told the last few people I have spoken with that I have cried enough for today and will possibly resume in the morning but for now, my quota is spent. I just REALLY REALLY need to see my mom.

I will try to keep updating as things come up. My Aunt Judy has done an AMAZING job with this though so it might just be double information. Please continue to keep her in your prayers. I have a good feeling now that things are going to be okay. I'm clinging to that and happy that I'll be there soon.

My Mom

Wow. It's amazing how quickly your life and perspective can change. It can take about 2 seconds, or just one phone call. My sister-in-law Charlotte called me yesterday to tell me she was on her way to the hospital. My mom took herself to the hospital on Sunday night and they called Carma on Monday to let her know that she needed to come down right away and wouldn't tell her why. We had absolutely no idea what was wrong or what was happening, or even if she was stable. Charlotte called as she was a few miles from the hospital and promised to call and let me know the second she found out what was going on. I really think that was the worst 15 minutes of my life. I cried, and prayed, and worried, and thought the absolute worst. Charlotte called to let us know that she was stable and talking and they were going to admit her and take some tests. She called again later to let us know that the Cardiologist had been in and said that she may have suffered a heart attack 2 weeks ago and her heart has been getting weaker and weaker since that time. They are going to run a series of tests to see if there is any blockage in her heart and if so they will need to do bypass surgery. If not, there is also a possibility of putting her on a pacemaker. I absolutely hate that she is there and that I am here. I want to be with her so bad, I could scream. I hate that she was feeling sick in the first place and going through so much alone. I hate that I have no idea what is going on and what she will have to go through. I am SO thankful however, that she is getting the care that she needs now and that the heart attack didn't take her life away from me, as I know it so easily could have. I thank my Heavenly Father so much for the chance that I will have to see, hug and talk to her again, and I hope it's soon. I thought I'd update here for my family and those that know my mom and would like to know what is going on. Please pray for her to get better soon and call any of us (kids) if you need an update.

From Riches to Rags...

by riches I mean the joy and fun of vacation and by rags I mean puke rags. Ugh. We got home on Wednesday, had a VERY lazy day Thursday because I was going to conquer the world on Friday (that was my excuse for being so lazy)...then came the puking 3 year old. Poor poor baby, he HATES to throw up - not that anyone really enjoys it, but he REALLY REALLY hates it! He still doesn't understand exactly what is happening or why. It was so sad. He was sick ALL day and finally crashed hard at 8pm and woke up feeling like new. Too bad I didn't. Ugh, Ugh, Ugh. I told Mark I just felt "pregnant" most of the day, it's the only way I can associate the mild nausea that accompanied everything I did on Saturday, kind of like how I feel while I'm pregnant, not really like I'm going to throw up, just not 100%. It was totally bearable until about 5pm and then I was miserable - I made it through the night without puking though so I considered myself very lucky...although sometimes you wish you could just so you could feel better. Josh wasn't feeling too great on Saturday either so we just took it easy and Mark finished the basketball hoop (more about that later). We all woke up feeling about 90% better so we made the family decision to go to church. This was really quite cute as Sam, sensing a possible "out" said he thought that maybe we shouldn't go since we had a "cough" (which we didn't) to which our little 8 year old missionary replied "I really think we should go Sam, we'll feel better if we do". I was so proud of him. Sam too, as he also made his own decision that going would be a good idea after all. We all felt better as the day went on until yesterday morning when Mark woke up sick. GRR! Poor guy came home from work (which just doesn't happen) and everything. I'm happy to report however that he woke up feeling better today and I think we are officially out of the woods. WHEW!!

Okay, enough about puke....moving on...

I saw this on Tib's blog the other day and it got me so excited so I thought I'd put it on mine also. I'm still not "feeling" Robert Pattinson for Edward. I mean SERIOUSLY?? I don't think he's that cute to be perfectly honest, and Edward is supposed to be the most beautiful thing on the planet, right?! Oh well, the part on the preview where he smiled and "took off" into the woods with her looked cute, so he might have promise afterall. I'm really REALLY hoping the movie will be at least 1/2 as good as the book. :)

Twilight

Oh, and I also wanted to share some of my highlights of Mothers day on Sunday. I made Mark promise that he wouldn't buy anything else for me since I got so spoiled on our trip. Since the boys hadn't seen anything that I had bought yet I told Mark to let them give me one of my dresses. When he told them he found me a dress in Seattle they were SOOOO excited. They said "how did you buy it without her seeing it DAD?!!!" So funny. They were glowing with anticipation as they handed me my dress on Sunday morning. They made me a steak lunch with salad and baked potatoes and brownies! YUM!!!

Sam made "me" a plate at school, that he has now officially taken back for himself. Little stinker. It is really cute, it has a rainbow and a picture of us on it. Joshua made one in Kindergarten too so now they both have one, I think Sam was just excited to finally have his own after watching Joshua use his plate for the last 3 years. :)

Joshua made me a darling card that I just loved. The front of it has a picture of him and says "I love my mom because she helps me with school and she feeds me and she buys clothes for me"

The inside says "My Mom is best at doing: Cooking, Throwing(? - not sure what I'm good at throwing - but it gave me a good laugh!), shopping and scrapbooking". Then on the other side it says: "My Mom's favorite food is Burritos, Dessert is Strawberry Shortcake, Color is Blue, T.V. show is American Idol, Clothing to wear is Nice Clothes, Hobby is Cooking, Place to go is the Mall. The picture he drew showed me with a shopping cart.

So, do you think my 8 year old thinks I like to shop?! Funny, funny. He should talk though, this is definitely something he got from me. He LOVES to shop so I guess now we know he comes by it naturally at least. :)

Anyway, then at Church I took Gabe to the bathroom and while I was straightening my dress in the mirror Gabe said "That is sure a pretty shirt we buy'd for zyou mom!" So cute! I just LOVE these boys! I'm so so lucky!!

Hope all of you had a wonderful day too!!! You all inspire me SO MUCH!! I'm so thankful for our blogging world!

Where in the WORLD have we been??

Living the Seattle city life, that's where!! Mark needed to go to Seattle to attend a conference for work and I had the wonderful opportunity to tag along - sans kids. WAHOO!! It was a little tricky at first, figuring out where our kids would go and if it would be worth it or not to even try. We are SO blessed with wonderful friends that willingly took our boys in pairs of two. The bigs went to our neighbors, the Perillo's and had an ABSOLUTE BLAST, they didn't want to come home and said they didn't even miss us (sniff). The littles went to the Pahl's, and they are who I was worried about the most. They did great, thanks to Becky's AMAZING mothering skills. We are so so lucky to have such wonderful friends!

Once the cab pulled up to our hotel, one quick look around me told me I was in the right place. I practically squealed with delight as my eyes feasted upon a LUSH store, Macy's, Nordstrom, Gap and Old Navy all (with the exception of Lush) 3-4 stories high! I told Mark not to worry about me, I'd be JUST fine. Around a corner, there was a Nordstrom Rack, around another corner a Ross. YAY! Yes, I know most of these stores are available in my hometown but in my hometown I have 4 additional shadows that stick to me like glue and going to even ONE of these places would take me almost all day. I was in shopping heaven.

The first day there we got to the hotel to check in but our room wasn't ready so we dumped our bags and headed out to see the town. We walked to Pike Place Market. A famous marketplace located within walking distance of our hotel. It was SOOO much fun! We didn't get to see them throw the fish, but we heard all about it and it sounds like it would have been fun to watch. It was really neat to see all the fun handmade things for sale, and the fresh produce looked DELISH! We REALLY wanted to find some yummy fried fish or calamari to eat but by the time we chose one (for fish..we never found calamari) they were closing down so we had to settle for clam chowder. We had a great time pointing out things the boys would have loved here and there and holding hands and just being together! There was a reception for those attending the conference and their spouses so we had to get back to get ready for that. They had a great dinner prepared for us where we got to chat and get to know some of the other attendees. It ended early so Mark and I walked a few blocks to catch a movie. We watched "21" and stopped for ice cream from "ColdStone" on the way home. SO FUN!!

On Monday Mark awoke and went to "work" and I slept in, took a bath and headed out for some shopping. I've been DYING to try the products from LUSH ever since Sheriece and Tib have mentioned them on their blogs. The solid shampoo and conditioner sounded SO COOL and Tib mentions the bath bombs a lot so I knew this store HAD to be my first stop. It was SO NEAT! I ended up going back there 3 times during my stay and wish wish WISH they had one here. Sigh. It was a little hard admitting to Mark that I just dropped 50 bucks on toiletries. oops.

I also found Joshua some GREAT deals on some shirts at the Gap. This poor kids' wardrobe looks pretty shabby compared to all of his little brothers so it was nice to catch him up a bit. When Mark got back we walked over to Nordstrom Rack to look at their shoes and ended up finding a pair of Lucky Jeans for $40! Even on the half-yearly sale at Nordstrom they are NEVER EVEN CLOSE to that cheap. I told Mark whether he wanted them or not he was getting them. His jeans are all SO OLD and the one nice pair he owns I accidentally spilled bleach on a few years ago so I felt it was my duty to make him get a new pair. I couldn't talk him into getting the shoes though. He NEVER spends money on himself and I get SO TIRED of begging him so I gave in and we put them back. We went to dinner with everyone at a place called Gordon Biersch Brewery. It was pretty good and we got stuffed! I tried to save room for ice cream again but we just couldn't do it, we were WAY too full!

Tuesday Mark went to work again and I started off early knowing this was my last full day. I stopped at McDonald's for breakfast and was entertained by a local looney yelling at some imaginary people in the restaurant. It was pretty funny, but I felt kind of sorry for him. I went back to Nordstrom Rack to look for some jeans for me because SERIOUSLY 40 BUCKS!!! Then I went to Ross and looked around but it was CRAZY. I guess it is senior day on Tuesdays and everyone 50 and over saves 10%. The line was FOREVER LONG, but I did find some great deals there and got two dresses for $12.50 EACH! HOORAY! I rushed home to get ready as my brother Mike was picking us up for dinner. He has a job site in Seattle right now among other places and happened to be in town the same time we were! He took us to an AMAZING place called The Crab Pot. It was SO MUCH FUN! You place your order and they come out with butcher paper to lay on the table then they dump all your food in the middle of the table and give you a hammer. It was SO SO SO YUMMY and we ate and ate and ate and ate. Here are a few pictures of our food, my brother holding up the poor little shrimp in it's shell (I will admit, it was a little harder eating the shrimp this way, it made it more "real" that they used to be alive or something) and the table after most of the damage was done. I can't believe all that food went into our bodies, but MAN was it GOOD! We walked around and looked at the boats and the ocean for awhile, then he drove us back to our hotel and we walked around there for a bit, we went to the Pike Place Market again but it was empty so we stopped for ice cream again. FUN FUN! --Thank you brother, we had SUCH a great time!!

Wednesday was my "souvenir" day and I spent the morning getting the boys their Webkins and finding something for the Pahl's and Perillo's. We got Josh a snake, Sam a frog and Gabe a puppy. By the time I was done Mark was done with the conference and it was time to head to the airport. Whew. It went SOO fast and was SOOOO fun. I was so excited to see my boys again and once Wednesday came, I couldn't get home fast enough. By the time we waited for each other's flights - Mark flew Delta and I flew Southwest (THANKS MOM!) it was 6:30 before we could head home. I was SOO anxious to pick up the babies and I just KNEW Will would be SO EXCITED to see me. Um. Yeah. I was WAY OFF. I walked in and squealed and grabbed him out of Becky's arms and he FREAKED OUT. He started SCREAMING and couldn't be consoled. Mark finally grabbed him and threw him in the air a few times and got him laughing and I felt like chopped liver. Lucky for me, he grinned at me the whole way home so hopefully I just came at him too fast and his little 8 month old brain couldn't process what was happening. That, or he wants Becky to be his full time mommy which I'm not about to allow so I have to just hope it is the first one. :)

We had SUCH a great time and I've decided Seattle is ABSOLUTELY one of my very favorite cities ever. I want to take the boys back there SOOOOOOOO bad. Hopefully someday we can ALL go back and do more sightseeing!

My FAVORITE things about this trip were:

*Rediscovering Escalators. I've been doing the stroller/elevator thing for so long I almost forgot they still existed!! How fun it was to go up and down and up and down and up and down all the live long day!

*Realizing how seriously funny my husband is. My favorite had to be watching him whisper into his McDonald's cup "systems GO" and "all systems ABORT....ABORT, ABORT" at Nordstrom Rack. Apparently they "hired" him into their "loss management team" and he was watching a potential shoplifter...that I never actually saw (and just between us, I don't think he did either) and was about to call in the authorities. Maybe you had to be there but it was FUNNY!

*Sleeping in, showering, blow-drying and CURLING my hair EVERY DAY! I felt like a girl again...if only for a few days. :)

*Not worrying about a thing I ate because I walked it off the minute I stopped eating it! How fun to walk everywhere and not have to worry about driving around in traffic!

*Falling MORE in love with my husband all over again. Spending time with him just talking with absolutely no interruptions was so so so priceless.

*Mark letting me spend $100 or more a day. I'm pretty sure this wasn't in our budget, but I didn't complain. He totally spoiled me and it was SO FUN. I really don't deserve this wonderful man!